How to be the BEST Wedding Guest

Photo by  Jayd Jackson

Photo by Jayd Jackson

It's officially wedding season and not just for the professionals. If you look at your calendar, you too will realize most of your traveling for the year will be for friend’s weddings. We know you don't want to add to the couples stress and be the subject of a public rant about their rude wedding guest so we've eliminated any confusion by giving you all the insight, knowledge and sometimes tough love to be the best guest this season. This is your "HOW TO BE THE BEST WEDDING GUEST" guide. Study it, and don't let us catch you going rogue. 


1. Répondez s'il vous plaît, no, like really, RSVP

Do not pull the "I opened the invite so long ago and forgot where I placed it" routine. If you are asked to RSVP you are likely over the age of 18 and therefore you know how to use a calendar and your common sense. Don't make the couple chase you. I assure you they have more important matters to focus on. The date a couple provides to you is not some made up fairytale date, their catering, bar, and rental costs are all affected by the number of guests they have, as is their entire seating plan, therefore, they can't finalize any of that without your help. And by your help, I mean doing something that takes the least amount of effort, by clicking yes on the internet or mailing a prepaid envelope. 

2.  Me +2 will be attending

The "can I bring a guest?" question or the bold action of a returned RSVP with added names written in makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. Assume the answer is no ALWAYS. Weddings are exclusive invites. Whether it's a wedding of 20 or 250. Each name on that guest list was curated. I'm sure you're innocently thinking that you started dating someone 5 months ago and just can't imagine experiencing anything without this person. I'd say you're being a little dramatic but I too have been struck by the honeymoon phase of relationships. It's not like you have no choices. You can either attend the wedding of your friend because selflessly you want to be there for them and witness this special occasion or continue pretending someone else's wedding revolves around you and don't attend because your partner can't join you. The couple might want to look into the crowd when they recite their vows and see familiar faces. Also, you're completely erasing cost from this thought process when it is likely the deciding factor. The cost per guest is not just the cost per their meal and their beverages, it's also their rentals and the venue they're being hosted in and the entertainment they are listening to and the staff serving them and the decor they're admiring and the cake they're devouring and the photo booth they're enjoying, and the welcome bag of goodies they graciously received. So for a $50,000 100 person wedding, every guest would cost approximately $500. So when you're saying, hey I'm coming but only if so and so can join me, you're asking the couple to miraculously add $500 to their budget. Rude! This rule doesn't necessarily apply if you're married. If you're married, it is a standard courtesy that a couple invites your partner, unless you're a work colleague and have been invited with a number of other work colleagues, in that scenario you are not guaranteed a +1 for your Spouse. That was a costly mouthful, Get it? 

3. But I look so good in white

Dress codes exist for a reason. They exist to help a couple create their vision and to help you feel empowered in your attire, but also not stick out like a sore thumb. Don't wear white/ivory/off white unless told otherwise. There is no circumstance in which that is acceptable unless it's part of the Dress Code or the couple specifically said it was allowed. If it's a Summer Botanical Barbecue wedding and you show up in black, it'll be pretty obvious you DID NOT READ THE DRESS CODE. Weddings are a special occasion no matter the formality so also assume no denim is allowed. No matter what the dress code remember tasteful is the name of the game. 

4. How dare you ask me to unplug

Relax, your 10s of followers can wait. While this wasn't always the trend, we certainly believe this is how it should remain. Even if there is no unplugged signage at the wedding ceremony, we urge you to UNPLUG. Do not look through the lens of your phones or cameras. Be present. Let the professionals do their jobs capturing the moment and you just sit there and experience it. If there was a way for people to use their phones during wedding ceremonies that didn't ruin every professional photo then maybe we'd allow it from time to time but seeing as that's proven impossible and you can't be trusted, we must ban the phones. 

5. I'd like to hear "Culo" by Pitbull

I assure you the couple spent time and money curating what vibe and in essence what music they wanted and that took you into account. Please, do not make music requests. This isn't your favorite local bar in college that had the best dancing and would take your requests all night long. When you make a request for something, you're either making a statement that you're unhappy with the entertainment or making a judgment that everyone in the room has the same taste in music as you do. The couple has had to take all guests into account when planning their celebration. Trust in them and their efforts. And if you really need to hear Pitbull, wait till your wedding day, your guests can't say boo about it. 

6. Adults Only 

I know it's not the most convenient for all the Parents out there, but it is the couple's wishes. Don't you remember ever so vaguely before you had your littles, that special day when you yourself might've requested a child-free wedding? I know it seems like another person experienced that but in fact, it was you. Some couples might be generous and spring for childcare and others leave that up to you. You have every right to decline a wedding invitation because it doesn't conveniently suit your needs but you don't have the right to ask a couple to move mountains to accommodate you. They've communicated that no kids are allowed for a reason. Don't try the "but they're very docile and well behaved and can sit on our laps" tactic to try and get your kids invited. You know very well your kids can be monsters at the drop of a hat and they'll want to sit everywhere, but that was a valiant effort and we applaud you for it. 

7. This is not the Upright Citizens Brigade theater 

This is not a time for improv and impromptu speeches. Do not grab the mic and begin a toast or worst a roast for the couple. If they wanted to offer you valuable air time they would've communicated that to you before the wedding day. If you suddenly feel inspired to gift the couple a performance of you jamming with the band for a song or two, stop yourself. Not all ideas are winners. The truth is if you're really moved by the moment and you'd like to say or do something TASTEFUL and MEMORABLE for the couple than you ask the Planner and the couple. If the answer is NO, you respect their response, and you perform your number in private at a later date or not at all. 


8. Seating is not up for debate

I know it's tempting to move your place card to somewhere else on the table or even move tables entirely to be with your friends, but refrain. The seating chart took time to perfect and where you've been placed is where the couple feel is best for you and the entirety of the vibe. Is it that torturous to have to meet new people? It's highly probable you and the guests to your left and right have something in common and end up hitting it off. At the very least you both know the couple and were both invited to the wedding so chat about that. 


9. Unlimited Open Bar doesn’t mean Unlimited Drinking 

Drink Responsibly. This is not a Don't drink and drive PSA because that should already be understood. I'm merely advising you to know your limit and drink accordingly. Manage your beverage intake, such as hydrating with water and making sure you eat throughout the day and night. You don't want to be the friend that your other friends need to apologize for. You want to be coherent enough to be able to apologize for your actions yourself. Or here's an idea don't get inebriated enough to do anything worth apologizing for. 

Okay, class is finished. You've survived! Don't be frightened or overwhelmed by the amount of rules to consider when attending a wedding, they should mostly be common sense. It's a wedding, a time for blending of two lives and celebrating that commitment with a positive and energetic environment. Go ENJOY, and when the couple recognize what an amazing guest you were you can say you had a little help. 


Love is in the Air

Your centerpieces bring an air of sophistication as roses are interwoven with white hydrangeas in a tall, frosted Lucite vase. You’ve mastered the art of the rose curtain by hanging brightly hued flowers on invisible strings to mimic a Vogue-like photo-op, and you’ve tastefully placed crimson table runners around the space to pull it all together; your love inspired party has given even the most cynical singles that feeling of magical realism romance novels write about. Whether it’s a wedding, birthday party, or a fun celebration, the hostess in you wants to give guests a parting gift without making everyone feel like an arrow wielding baby threw up on them. Here are a few favor ideas that will leave your guests feeling like they’ve been brushed (not punched) by Cupid.

 

1.     Red printed Haikus

For my Valentine’s themed 40th birthday celebration, I brought in the Haiku Guys for all my guests. Give them any word, phrase, or sentiment, and they’ll craft a haiku for you on the spot using an old-fashioned typewriter. Replace the typewriting ribbon to have red print, and guests will leave with a reminder of your evening they can hold on to well after Cupid’s arrows have worn off.

 

2.     Red, pink, and mauve toned Macarons

Although they don’t last past the Uber home, edible favors are always a crowd pleaser. Turn a classic treat into a Valentine’s day affair by ordering a variety of red, pink, and muave hued macarons for guests to take with them as they leave. A recent non-valentine’s day wedding we did included this idea but took it one step further by printing sayings like “love is love” on the cookies. Package these sweets with a red ribbon for an even greater effect.


3. Flower Curtain

As if we’d tease you with the beautiful rose curtain above and not include an explanation. Everyone loves a good Instagram opportunity, so why not give them a favor that’s sure to rake in the likes. Hang red roses on invisible line to make for the perfect photo backdrop. Take it one step further by bringing in a photo booth that offers printable pictures on the spot with your wedding or event hashtag printed at the bottom. Guests will love feeling like they got to keep a piece of the party forever.

Something old, new, borrowed, Something...velvet?

We’re in an age where interweaving personality and style is almost expected: dainty jewelry for the minimalists, fire engine red boots for the fashion forward, pastel blue lipstick for the daring, and chic studded boots for the punk professionals. Our wardrobe is so closely tied with our personality, it would be crazy not to bring this style to your wedding day. While you may not be willing to rock geometric eyeliner on your big day, there are a ton of other ways to incorporate your personality into your appearance. Check out these 4 bridal trends we’re crazy about!

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  1. Embroidered Veils

As someone who is sentimental to a fault, this is by far my favorite idea. While typical embroidered patterns of flowers are likely to pop up everywhere in the coming seasons, brides can take it one step further and embroider their wedding date, the couple’s initials, vows, or lyrics to the song they are planning on playing for their first dance. After your wedding, you can even frame your veil as a constant reminder of your beautiful day.



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2. Velvet Shoes

If you’re someone who keeps up with what’s trending in fashion, you’ve likely noticed the copious amounts of velvet shoes hitting the streets (I’m currently wearing a pair of burgundy velvet booties I adore). Fortunately for you, velvet is an easy trend to incorporate in your ensemble. Throw on a pair of velvet heels in a neutral color, or better yet, choose a color that matches your decor. It’s a perfect way to bring street-wear to the table without going over the top.

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3. The Classic Pantsuit

In case you haven’t heard, everyone’s been talking about the “year of the woman”. Enter: the pantsuit. Every bride deserves to feel beautiful, elegant, and sophisticated on their wedding day, but nobody talks about how powerful brides can be. If slipping into a pantsuit makes you feel as if you can run the world, why not wear it on your wedding day? So many bridal stores carry white pantsuits as a staple now, but if you’re looking to take it one step further and wear a brighter color, look in the evening wear section of any department store.

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4. Statement Pieces

Does anyone remember the days we would wear giant costume-like rings as statement jewelry? Fortunately that trend has gone out of style, but statement pieces seem to be here to stay. Pieces can range from something as simple as layered necklaces (hey, you do that in your day to day life, why shouldn’t you bring it to your wedding day) or geometric earrings, to more eye catching items like ornate headpieces and sheer capes. Or you could be as fabulous as our bride above and pair textured earrings with a layered necklace and woven hair piece;) Whatever makes you, you, should be showcased on your big day!

Welcome to Beyond The Buzz!

To the Newlyweds and singles, the recently engaged and the patiently waiting, to everyone out there with a desire to dive into the world of weddings, or interested in following José Rolón's many adventures and creations, you've come to the right spot. Beyond the Buzz is home to all things José Rolón Events and it's fearless leader and mastermind, José Rolón.

 Here we will teach, preach, discuss, admire, inspire, explore, and praise all that and whom elevate our industry. We will share all facets of what makes José Rolón Events unique in the world of weddings, from trends, insight, and guidance no matter what stage of Planning you're in, to health and wellness, entrepreneurship and family. While weddings are our passion and forte, we're humans before all of that and we hope to relate and inspire you from your engagement to beyond.

We encourage you to comment, share your thoughts, start a discussion and connect with us directly. If you think José Rolón Events is the right fit to bring your wedding and event dreams into a reality we'd love to hear from you.

See you on the flip side,

José + the JRE Team

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